According to suspended Texans linebacker Brian Cushing, his failed drug test was not due to PED usage, but to a “unique” medical condition called “overtrained athlete syndrome.” Yea, I don’t know either.

Maybe we should just let him explain, as he did in an interview with SI’s Peter King on Friday:

“Everything points to that syndrome,” Cushing said, walking back to the Texans’ locker room after their afternoon practice.

“I’m pretty sure it is. I’m pretty positive. I didn’t take anything. It’s not a tainted supplement. So all roads lead to that.”

And who could argue with that bulletproof logic? Cushing tested positive for HGC, a substance used to restart regular testosterone production after completion of a steroid cycle. In fact, no player in the history of the NFL has ever tested for a higher level HGC. But overtrained athlete syndrome, you say? You’re pretty positive? All roads lead to that?

Cushing’s body either magically produces steroids, or it just produces bullshit. For some reason, I think that most people will be leaning towards the latter. By now, I’d assume you’ve seen that picture, the one juxtaposing Cushing as a saggy-boobed USC freshman next to a shot of him as a Lou Ferrigno-esque senior. Couple this image with a positive test, and there really doesn’t seem to be much left to debate.

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